Gaming's Rapture

And so, Shinra HQ.

After climbing a big massive wire with plugs and all that, I reached the front door and was given a choice. Sneak in through the stairs all nice and quiet, or kick in the front door and start blowing shit up.

Guess which one I picked.

For the most part, nothing hugely interesting happened. Some soldiers were killed and I battled a few turrets. The 62nd floor was most interesting, with a nice puzzle of finding a password of Mayor Domino. My friend knew how it worked, so he gave me a little advice, but I struggle to see how it would be possible otherwise. It’s not that it’s hugely complicated, it’s just that without it I wouldn’t have known where to start. Fortunately, someone called “Hart” offers tips at insanely outrageous prices. The puzzle continues to show the game’s persistence to mix up the gameplay every once in a while, which I greatly appreciate.

Unfortunately, there was also an annoying puzzle involving a model of Midgar. There was no lateral thinking or anything involved, it was merely very time consuming and frustrating. I had to traipse back and forth between chests that would open randomly, and clumsily place pieces into a model that was frankly less than willing to take them at times. As much as I love diversity, there are times when the game should stick to what it knows best. Thankfully, these are outshone by the better sections.

Finally reaching the top, I met Hojo, a Shinra scientist. He was about to conduct an experiment on Aeris. Aeris, being one of these super-powerful “Ancient” or “Cetra” doo-hickeys, holds infinite power in her or something. Anyways, Shinra want it, so Hojo is putting her and this big red dog into a chamber and filling it with some stuff. End result? Dog learns to talk and becomes super strong and Aeris is fine. The dog, named Red XIII, joined my party. Handy.

Anyway, I fought a big specimen called H0512 as a boss, and that was it for the lab.

When I tried to take the elevator, I was stopped by Tseng and Rude, and thrown in prison. Not before having the president himself explain that Shinra are interested in the Cetra because they hold the key to the “Promised Land,” a realm filled with Mako energy. A brief stint in the holding cells, and I went to sleep, awaking to find the door wide open and the guards murdered. Um…

Following a blood trail, and noticing that Jenova (a big monstrous creature that is apparently related to Sephiroth somehow) has escaped, I reached the president’s office… to find him brutally murdered and slumped over his desk. It was at this point that his son, Rufus, showed up. Cloud told the rest of the team to go downstairs while he dealt with Rufus.

Everyone else fights a big robot while Cloud fights the remarkably blasé about his father’s recent death and is excited to take over the company. He plans to rule with fear, as opposed to his father, who used money. How noble of him.

Neither boss was too tough, the robot being a bit annoying as normal attacks (with the exception of Barrett’s) don’t work on it. Rufus was accompanied by Dark Nation, looking like a black Red XIII, but he didn’t pose much of a problem.

Then the game got a bit silly. They were wondering how they were going to escape the building, when Cloud shows up with a motorbike out of fucking nowhere, and they speed off with the rest of the team in a car that also grew out of the fucking ground.

Who the fuck writes this shit?!

So, I raced along the road, knocking guards off of their motorcycles with my ridiculously oversized sword to protect and ancient lady leading everyone to a promised land, some bar maid and a guy with biceps the size of tree trunks.

It. Was. AWESOME.

I’m usually far too cynical for this sort of ridiculous carry on, but I was too immersed in the general fun of it. The arcade-y feel was charming, and it was just a blast to play through.

So, after defeating another machine-type boss at the end of the road, I climbed down a big rope and set off into the World Map. Having left Midgar, ready to conquer the perils of the Final Fantasy world at large…